The Purpose of Memory in Memoir
The frequent cause of tension and anxiety for both readers and writers of memoir is the questionable reliability of memory.
In the passage “Memory and Imagination,” an essay rom her book I Could Tell You Stories, memoirist Patricia Hampl, spends the first four pages recounting a charming piano lesson story from her youth before abruptly whipping the rug out from under our feet.
“No memoirist writes for long,” she says “without experiencing an unsettling disbelief about the reliability of memory… When I reread the piano lesson vignette just after I finished it, I realized that I had told a number of lies.” – Patricia Hampl
As the reader on the other end of this confession, I experienced a twinge of betrayal and disappointment. But the interesting thing is, the absolute veracity of the story didn’t really matter to me until Hampl told me that she lied. A case of “ignorance is bliss?” Perhaps. But there is more at stake than simply breaking the bond of trust between reader and writer.
Hampl uses recognition of the fallibility of her memory to explore a major concern underpinning all memoir writing: if retelling the past accurately is ultimately impossible why should anybody write memoir? Does a failing of this magnitude put the existence of the genre in jeopardy? We might just as easily, and perhaps more honestly, place all life narratives under the heading of fiction inspired by real events.
But the principle attraction of the memoir genre is memory. The use of memory is the defining characteristic. For readers of memoir a deeper understanding of the role of memory is critical to the reading experience. Understanding the role of memory will inform our expectations which guide what we are looking for while reading. So, better understanding what we are looking for in regard to memory will improve our reading experience.
So, let’s talk abut what we, as readers, should be looking for with memory.
Not Just the Facts
Facts are important but they are not of primary importance. Hample tells us basing the entirety of the genre of memoir upon factual recollection would be to miss the purpose of memoir and misunderstand the function of memory. Hampl explains:
“if we think of memory naively, as a simple story, logged like a documentary in the archive of the mind, we miss its beauty but also its function. The beauty of memory rests in its talent for rendering detail, for paying homage to the senses, its capacity to love the particles of life, the richness and idiosyncrasy of our existence.”
Memory, like life, is not perfect. In its imperfect capture memory reveals which details were important to the individual and attempts to place order and significance upon the remembered moment. The organic imperfection of memory reveals underlying truths. “Intimacy with a piece of writing” says Hempl, and with memory, “as with a person, comes from paying attention to the revelations it is capable of giving.
The act of remembering occurring in memoir is not simply to recall what happened on a particular day but to find the underlying meaning of those events. That meaning is pointed at by the details which percolated up to the surface of memory. Hampl explains the goal is to “learn not only to tell our stories but to listen to what our stories tell us…”
So, as readers we should be aware that the details that have made it into the story are there as signposts for us to help us find the meaning the writer found within that memory and wishes to convey to us.
By relegating total accuracy to a secondary position, information such as facts and timeline becomes secondary as well. This suggests the ultimate purpose of memoir is quite different from creating a historical record.
Weighing in on the topic of truth and memory in memoir, digital publisher, Jane Friedman blogged about a conference on memoir she attended this past summer. The function of memory was a core concept discussed by conference speaker, Professor Wendy Fontaine Fontaine emphasized that memoirs “can reveal more truth when the distortion of memory is laid bare.” Expounding on this point Freidman continues “the biological distortions of memory have the potential to open up personal, emotional truths.”
Salvador Dali "The Persistence of Memory" 1931
The Issue with Accuracy
This is not to say that factual accuracy is unimportant by any means. The further one strays from an accurate account of their life the closer they get to being what memoirist Dave Bry calls a “Fabulist.” As discussed in my recent post on the “Historical I,” autobiographical hoaxes are not taken kindly to in the memoir community.
So, given that we’ve already established complete accuracy is not possible, what precisely is the issue with accuracy? Bry, discusses the less desirable option resorted to by some in which “less important details [are] ‘fudged’ in order to get to a larger, more important truth” Bry finds this to be quite “Machiavellian” and I would have to agree. Choosing an expedited route to a perceived higher moral ground above a more accurate narrative, is a dubious enterprise indeed.
The critical difference here separating what writer Mike Daisy is reported to have done in The Agony and The Ecstasy of Steve Jobs, one example Bry discusses, and what Hampl discusses doing in Memory and Imagination, is deliberate versus unintentional minor alterations of factual details. Out of the two, deliberate changes in service of an over-arching agenda is the more devious and questionable.
While we are not expecting memory to be perfect, we do expect the writer to, as Bry says, "[report] the truth, to the best of their ability, in full good faith."
Shared Truths
But, looking at life-shaping events has implications much broader than than the singular individual to whom they happened. These events point to universal questions of how humanity is shaped and what is the meaning of life?
A major motivation for reading memoir is finding, reflected in the experiences of others, answers to the questions of our own life experiences. All of us reach out daily pondering how did we get to where we are? and why are we here? The purpose of memoir Hampl says is to talk about “the big words”. The truth of “the big words” such as “love, despair, loss, innocence” is only to be found within individual life narratives. These answers are not to be found in pure facts.
While, Hempl’s confession may initially disgruntle us as readers, understanding the real goal is exposing personal truths we might consider holding our irritation in check and adjust the angle of our approach, as we look on, alongside Hempl, for the deeper truths which are the objective. These truths do not require perfect accuracy to come across.
Our primary purpose in reading memoir is not obtaining a purely factual account of the person’s life but rather it is an opportunity to learn what truths the individual has discovered through the process of living and how we might apply those discoveries to our own lives.
Our absorption of the details of memory in the memoir is characterized by an awareness that these choices are the manifestations of the process of memory. The choices made during remembering say alot about the meaning the writer is getting out of life.
As we read memoir it is with the understanding that memory is a tool sifting through facts seeking the significance of the moment which lies at the core. And grasping the core truth at the center of each life narrative is our objective as readers.
